I just wish i could have a younger sibling, perhaps ? See, being the only child is well, sometimes not easy. Yes, you'll get all the attention and love from your parents, and so called 'you get everything you want !( which you'll think twice being in my shoes ) Also , you'll think that most of the kids who are the only kid in their family are well, spoilt in other ways. Look , this post is not about pointing at other ppl , just being general though.

It got me thinking, really, when i was having dinner with my aunt and grandma. the adults were talking and i was well, doing the thinking. They were talking bout sibling favouritism and, yeah that totally just carried me away far from reality.See, i'm the only child in my family. Do i get all the attention and love , ( well, i share it with my dog if you do count a dog as a part of the family ) yes i do , do i get everything i want ? NO, i dont, i get it when i perform really well in something. On the other hand , being the only child , is quite hard, especially when practically all your family members are academically inclined, i mean , even you're not from that sort of family, you still have like some sort of pressure on you especially when it comes to the academic field . Like , in class, well not to say that i'm a 'kiasu', it's like a must to perform well , but not to the extreme like getting top in class whole year round , but maybe top 10, perhaps, well at the least. It's like parents, they really push you to do well, just indirect. But., certainly, they would want you to do well, especially when it involves the field that most of your family members are doing . But, i gotta admit i'm also a kiasu but, in a positive way, and i gotta say, i'm not to the extreme just the normal kiasu. Also, as for me , YOU DONT GET ANYTHING YOU WANT RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW UNLESS YOU WORK YOUR ASS OFF IT.. yeah, you heard me right , i dun get what i want on the spot, i have to be like really patient and work hard towards what i want,so life isnt that easy for an only child. BUt, once in a while you Do get what you want but not always, perhaps a little treat ?
NOW, to the love part of this post, yes you get all the attention and love without a doubt, but sometimes the attention you receive can be quite intimidating. And the worse thing is you dont have any siblings to grow up with, to share your problems with, to annoy them, to just talk to them , to play with them, to share stuff with them, to protect them ,or being protected, well, the point is I JUST WISH TO HAVE A SIBLING. that is sounds desperate aint it ?? BUT, really i'm desperate.

I used to remember when i was about six, i used to fantasize that my dad would just bring home a little brother for me, like how the tv shows showed on tv when a kid gets adopted , and then they dont show the adoption process and straight away to the part where the kid comes home and being brought out from the car. yup, that was how i imagined it. that was seriously soo naive. but i have to say, i really wish to have a sibling . be it having an older or younger, i dont mind. I feel that it's fun. yeah i know you'll be thinking hell no , it's serious shit, thnk agin. But honestly, think agin, when we grow up you guys can just depend on each other, like going to the same college, and then your sis/ bro will protect you, and cook for you, or the other way round. If i had a sibling, i would protect from anything and help him/ her. one of my friends once said that, the more you fight, the more you get closer to your sibling which i think it's true. I have a cousin who doesnt really help her brother who is weak in his studies, but if i were her, i would be helping her brother, i mean c mon he's your brother ! HELP HIM FOR CHRIST SAKE! Ok , i dont want to elaborate this any further in case my uncle or auntie comes chasing after me with a broom ? or a wand ?? oh, please help !

also, speaking of which, i used to create names for my imaginary sibling like, Sarah , Alexander, David , Oliver, Keira, Vivienne, Jaden, Jordan, Blair, i love those names! they like, have a hidden meaning behind it , soo yeah. tell me, how cool it is and how sucky it is to have a sibling cause i never had one .

Sometimes, i just wish that i could be there for my cousins, those younger ones, i wish that they could turn to me and spill me all their problems, i wish i could be their sibling, i wish to protect them from harm in a sibling way, like when a big bully bullies your sibling you are able to stand up for her. I wish to hug them sometimes, i wish that they could just look me in the eye, and tell me that they want me to listen, help and protect them, well, this is how it feels when you are an only child wanting to be accepted as like an older sibling into the other younger cousin's life .i could do his to one of my cousins on my maternal side, i want to say Thank you for giving me a chance to feel what it really is like having a sibling with you, through thick and thin we support each other, and therefore, i hope to be in your lives wherever you go.because i really treat you guys as though you are my siblings.and i love you guys and i hope we'll remain as close as ever. As for my paternal side, i wish you could open your doors and just listen , because honestly , i really wanna sort out some things not that we had a fight , just help you emotionally. well, i hope you do , because i love you guys . just let go . period.

Anyway, i hope i'm not being to judgmental and get carried away by my opinion. if i do , i hope you would correct me. ok , one more thing this is not a emo post.

-signing off

Geez.. it's my second year haveng a blog and i have 67 posts( yes, i counted ) ! That's soo awfully pathetic , yes very .

I'm oficially back again but, i dont know how long, i mean how disciplined i can be and be fully commited to blogging. See , here's the thing, i love writting and have loads of ideas in my head bugging me to spill it out onto either a piece of paper or on the computer keypad . But, no, my limbs just wont even give a damn to cooperate with my brain , especially my hands , so yeah that explains why my blog remains stagnant to this day. Right , this is a really long explaination unless you call it short . it's been ages since i've blogged hundreds of days, problably ??and i'm not surprised if some of you dont give a damn bout this blog. LOL XDDD

Life's been treating me well, i guess, finals were just over a week ago and now having the time of my life. Well, not exactly, cause we, students are still waiting to collect our results,because, sometimes exam results can really be a pain in the ass or in other words ,being forced to go to school be your mom.Anyway, skip that part , the thing is i'm bored to hell because.. a.i'm too lazy to clean up the study room both upstairs and downstairs. b. i'm soo tired after cleaning up my room. C. Being a movie maniac, i practically have finished the movies i bought 2 weeks ago . D . Gossip Girl, i cant download it and i dunno why. E. i'm desperate for new novels that revolves around human relationship , like e.g. Jodi Picoult's work, it's good, really. F. i wish to work G. i wanna watch my collection of Angelina Jolie and Meryl Streep movies but i'm lazy to get to that, cause it involves A LOT of work just to get a movie out my my dvd box, dont' ask y ,it's a long story.

I've been doing a lot of thnking lately, as if talking to myself , just that it's not in a verbal form, more of a impulse, or whatever that is going on in my head. I know, i can drag on and on .and one more , i'm admit it, i'm lazy to practice piano, yup call me a real pig.

right , this is practically rants . and it takes up lots of space huh ? Speaking of which, whether am i still or not obsessed( as some of you call it,rather a really big fan ) with Angelina Jolie and Meryl Streep , the answer is definitely a big fat YES! haha , and you dont wanna know what i have gotten myself into this past few months. A. i'm another big fan of Kristen Stewart, Taylor Lautner , Ed WEstwick , Chace Crawford , Leighton Meester , Blake Lively. B. I dont know what and why do i deserve pimples that keep popping out of my face when one goes off, well, that's a bit exaggerated, i think. C.I got myself like really hooked to photography . and D. there's no ending to this list as it keeps going on longer and longer and one more , my life doesnt only revolves around celebrities, it's because they inspire me in some sort of way which i dun know how to explain myself , cousin brother.

okie then, i guess i gotta go and i think i had just boost my blogging spirits to a higher spiritual level ?? LOL, anyway, i really do hope that i'll have the blog nerve to keep on blogging, not because, some ppl say that i dont have a life, because i'm a big procrasinator. Really , I desperately need to go get the blogging spirit from a blogging instructor , wait does that even exist, blogging instructor, or maybe i was thinking bout yoga instructor..